Zeus knew how to play the field and win the ladies, but don’t plan on drawing inspiration from his moves. Last time we checked mortal dudes couldn’t transform into swans or bulls to get their girl.
Just don't expect a long term relationship... I'm not the commitment type.
Oh, and you might want to hire a bodyguard, because my wife, Hera <HARE-uh>, has a nasty temper.
She always thinks I'm sneaking around behind her back. Where's the trust? …
Hera’s so good at keeping tabs on me that I had to start getting creative.
It’s a lot of work to pull the wool over Hera’s eyes…
…but just look at these cutie pies... how could I resist?
Leda, Leda, Leda <Lee-duh>...such a babe.
I think she was secretly impressed that I made my move in the shape of a swan...
One of our kids… was Helen of Troy.
You know, the face that launched a thousand ships? That’s my lil slugger!
There's Io <EYE-oh>, she was another of my favorites, until I turned her into a cow to hide her from Hera.
My affair with Europa <Yur-OH-puh> was pretty daring, too. No one ever suspects the innocent bull!
I guess you could say I'm an animal person. I can pretty much get away with anything.
I have other tricks, though. With Alcmene <Ahlk-mee-nee> I impersonated her husband.
That little encounter resulted in Hercules, one of my favorite little god-human hybrids.
He takes after his pops in terms of good looks and general awesomeness.
Just look at how he rocks that lion skin hoodie…
Then there was Danae <DAN-uh-ee>. Her father locked her up in solitary confinement…
...so I slipped in through the ceiling in the form of liquid gold.
Pretty sly, huh?
Now you’re probably hearing all this, and thinking
“Wow, he sounds like I'm the greatest thing since ambrosia.”
You are correct.
Need more evidence? How about the time I defeated my evil dad Cronus<CROW-nus>?
How evil was he?
So evil that he ate my brothers and sisters like popcorn shrimp. …
Anyway, I ran dad out of town, and took over the family business.
And I’m the boss here, no question about it.
The alpha male, the big cheese, the head honcho.
Which explains why I had to school Prometheus, that little punk
who stole the fire from Mount Olympus.
You humans were just fine with your animal skin coats and raw fish sandwiches...
what did you need fire for?
Once the cat was out of the bag I got a little hot around the collar and sentenced Prometheus
to have his liver eaten by an eagle every day until the end of time.
So yeah. Don't get on my bad side. But at heart, I'm a lover, not a fighter.
I arranged for those crazy kids Cupid and Psyche <SY-kee> to get married.
And believe me, it wasn't easy breaking the news to Cupid’s mom, Aphrodite.
And I convinced that kidnapper Hades to share custody of his wife Persephone.
I had to marshal all of my people skills for that one.
So, in short, mortals, know that you are in good hands with me,
your bold, heroic, take-charge god…oh, hey there, beautiful!
How you doin'?